This is a satirical revision of a post along with the justification that followed that was written by Jody Dunkel, a California State University temporary employee on a closed University bulletin board.

The original full text is available in the Opinions section.


Too much AB PARKING!

Is it just me, or is there nothing more infuriating than seeing a handicapped parking area which is absolutely full, (most likely with the cars of some football players or web designers from a California University or other morons who don't quite get it) with the exception of five or six hundred unused AB parking spaces taking up the entire parking lot?!

...and you grumble to yourself and end up parking a football fields' length away because you KNOW you'll be blocked in, again, most likely by a football player or web designer from a California University - and you vow to yourself that the next able bodied person you see you're going to do something nasty and annoying to them....

...like wheeling over their feet with our scooter thingies, or smashing their heads in with our geriatric walkers or maybe just dragging them kicking - er sorry... limping and screaming.. out to the rehab center and beating them with a bat as part of a community awareness program!

If anybody wants to start up an anti-able bodied parking coalition let me know. We can go out at night and with a militant attitude turn all the able bodied parking spaces into normal handicapped parking spaces and take part in other rebellious anti-whatever campaign rituals."

I admit 100% to writing this, and am willing to take full responsibility for writing it. And now, if you're willing to listen, I will explain to you why I wrote this.

I realize the people who are the most upset by this are the non disabled population because they feel threatened by what appears to be a hateful and threatening attitude.

I'm so sure that no-one else could possibly be offended, that I am making every attempt to explain myself using simple concepts and very short words so you can grasp my meaning.

First off, I would like to confirm that I have absolutely no hatred of anything or anybody, including the non disabled.

Believe it or not, I am actually a very accepting, understanding, and probably the most tolerant and patient person anyone has ever met.

I would never ever think of carrying out any imagined act of violence for real.

But I WILL threaten and incite bodily harm against those who are weaker than I am and those who are unable to fight back and not think twice about it.

Those of you who know me know that's my usual way of doing things.

So here's the deal.

When I wrote this editorial, I had just gotten up on the wrong side of the bed, my chair was cold, there was not enough half and half to make a souffle and the neighbors cat was looking in my window.

Sure, my first reaction was annoyance, what else can you reasonably expect?

So I start thinking to myself... "what are the reasons I can't think coherently, spell like a dog and my grammar is atrocious... , hmmmm..."

The revelation was so sharp it knocked me off the high horse I was riding....

OF COURSE!! How could I have missed it being University educated and all?

ding! it's them damn non - handicapped folk!

Curse them! They're always causing trouble with their jobs, and access and ability to walk! Rubbing it in our faces by parking so far away and walking with such ease and lack of pain. HOW DARE THEY HAVE SUCH A GOOD THING GOING! Somebody should do something about this!!!"

Please note that the last paragraph was sarcasm.

Again, please see past the superficial words, and try to see that insincerity and bigotry does exist. I'm living proof!

Anyway, I don't really know what else to say at this point.

I don't blame the non disabled community for being upset.

It's hard when you don't know what's really going on and all you have is me to educate you. And I'm too busy writing hate mail to care.

I'm sorry to those who are hurt and reacted with an attitude that kissed my ass and reinforced my complete lack of decency as something to be celebrated.

The world needs more people like you, and you should be admired for your low IQ and inability to think for yourself.

To those who have retaliated vindictively with rightful indignity, common sense, advice and a generally right on take of the situation, you people are no better than the asshole you know I am.

Again, my apologies to anyone who thinks like I do and to the rest of you, watch out for my bat.




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