Community
Baby Steps To A Well-Rounded Life
By P. Denise Veazey
Jul 7, 2004, 16:31

Perhaps you’ve been there. The phone rings and because you really don’t want to answer it, you let it ring on and on and on. Or maybe the friends who once called you for lunch, now seem never seem to bother. Your home seems cold and lonely. Your best friends are your computer, your warmed-over microwave dinner, and the inane creatures squawking at you from your television set.
You need to get out of your house and enjoy life more, but it’s difficult to do when you are a person living with a disability.

Fifteen years ago, chronic progressive Multiple Sclerosis started to slowly erode the face of my everyday existence. The high-powered business lunches were replaced with endless hours of sitting and contemplating my newly disabled future. I sat in this stupor for a few squalid months, and then I decided to do something positive about my life and find a way to start living again.

When you are recently disabled, your life can suddenly get very small. Many individuals prefer to be left alone after their injury or sickness occurs. It’s difficult to deal with or accept the reality of the situation, and a person can be somewhat in a state of shock. Sometimes it appears easier to simply close off and deny the altered state of one’s own body. If you don’t deal with it, maybe the disability really isn’t there.

Anger is part of the many steps in coping with a newly disabled body. The feeling of “why did this have to happen to me” is all too common. Unfortunately, anger can lash out at others and be a destructive force. It can destroy marriages and families. Anger can also be turned inward and be equally as destructive.

Depression. Most people with a disability go through it. Your life is altered and you often think of the life you had prior to the disability. You may also think of the life that you could have had, had you not experienced a disability. There may be physical pain associated with a sickness or injury, and that can lead to depression. Relationships with family and friends change. The key is making sure that depression stays within acceptable bounds.

When you finally reach a level of acceptance about having a disability, it is a liberating feeling. This is where you finally say, “ok, I have a disability, big deal…I’m still me and I’m ready to LIVE.” But it takes baby steps to get going and truly live a fulfilled life in the face of an altered existence.

My first goal was to be as healthy as possible, even with MS. I started to watch my diet, take proper vitamins, and I researched and found exercise equipment that I could use to stay fit. I also researched information on my own disease. The more you know about your own illness or injury, the better.

Working with the proper medical team is very important. You know, you can fire your doctor, and boy…does it feel good. It’s important to be able to communicate effectively with your doctor. When you are a person living with a disability, life is too short to be unhappy with a vital part of your health care team. Shop around until you find the right fit.

It’s important to have the right balance in life. Family and friends make all the difference in the world to an individual’s well-being. But not everyone has that vital support. If you are a person living with a disability, it’s important to have a support group. If no immediate family or close friends are available, church affiliations and social organizations may be able to fill some of the void.

Getting out and about is so vital to your physical and mental well-being. Every community has an organization that is desperate for volunteers. Volunteering your time is a great way to get out of the house and socialize with new people while you give back to your community. I’ve been fortunate to volunteer my time at one of our local hospitals, for the National MS Society, and for the Boys and Girls Club for many years. It’s a rewarding experience that has provided me with many new friends and opportunities.

Finding employment can be difficult when employers are unable or unwilling to look past your wheelchair. You may be able to create your own rewarding work experience. I struggled for years and finally completed a novel about a female business executive who develops Multiple Sclerosis. I also have successfully sold Mary Kay skin care products for the past two years. Selling Mary Kay has given me a tremendous opportunity to work on a part-time basis from my home and generate additional income. Any questions regarding the sale of products can be directed to my e-mail address.

Is there life after a disability? The answer is yes, and it can be a full, rich and rewarding life. It just takes some small little steps to get you where you need to be; which is out in your community, living a well-rounded life.



P. Denise Veazey has lived with Multiple Sclerosis for 15 years, and is in a wheelchair fulltime.
She can be reached at pdvz@bellsouth.net
http://www.marykay.com/dveazey2












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